I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
