There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
