i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
