Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
