Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
