the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
