I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
