lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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