he thought i was a dude.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
