its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
