omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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