Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
