Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
