Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
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I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
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Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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