He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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