Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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