I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
