Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
