Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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