Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i love accidental penises.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
