Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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