it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
