i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
