you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
