she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
