so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
