their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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