I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
