I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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