1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
her vagine was all disorganized.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
