im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize