Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
