help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
