pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
