new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
