i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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