I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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