She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
