Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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