and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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