it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dick very happy bro
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