tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
