just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize