garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he thought i was a dude.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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