We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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