Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
