If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
