I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
And then he peed in my hair
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