who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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