i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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