Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
