So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
