Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
