id be glad to
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
