We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
