I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I deserve this hangover.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
