Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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