My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize