Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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