ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
