I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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