so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
