Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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