About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
