i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
