i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
