We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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