Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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