I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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