ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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