I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
